My Dog Is My Social Battery

A tiny poll for the dog lovers who “need a quiet minute”… and somehow end up on a 45-minute walk.

There’s a very specific kind of person who says, “I just need a quiet minute,” and then immediately finds themselves outside… strolling… breathing… suddenly emotionally stable… and definitely not talking to anyone.

If that’s you, welcome. You’re among friends.

Because here’s the thing: dogs are not just cute. They’re grounding. They’re an excuse to step away. They’re a reason to leave early. They’re a socially acceptable shield from small talk. And, somehow, they manage to recharge us while also making us carry poop bags like it’s a sacred duty.

So I’m collecting the greatest hits.

Quick poll (reply in your head, or out loud — I won’t judge)

When you say: “My dog needs me”… which version are you?

A) “My dog needs me.” (emotionally)
You’re not avoiding people. You’re protecting your peace. Your dog is your calm, your anchor, your serotonin supplier with paws.

B) “My dog needs me.” (logistically)
It’s not personal. It’s scheduling. You’ve got dinner, a walk, a sniff route, a nap window, and a dog who will stare at you like you broke a contract if you’re late.

C) “My dog needs me.” (as an excuse and I regret nothing)
You’re not even pretending anymore. The dog is your social bouncer and you are thrilled about it. No notes. No shame. Only boundaries.

Why I’m asking

Because dog lovers have a very specific sense of humor — the kind that comes from being deeply obsessed and mildly overwhelmed… in the best way.

And honestly? The funniest part is how instantly we recognize each other in the wild.

You know the moment:

• the subtle nod

• the “yep, same” energy

• the quiet relief of finding your kind

Tell me yours

If you’ve got a more unhinged version of “my dog needs me,” I want it.

Leave a comment, reply to this post, DM it — whatever’s easiest. I’m collecting the best ones (and yes, we might feature them later with your blessing).

So… A, B, or C?